Who was I?
by WinterViolets
Summary: Set in Nightmare of Silver. There's a certain Cyberman that can feel something, something a Cyberman shouldn't feel. It just knows, always knows, that The Doctor cannot die. Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who, or the BBC :( Interweb whouffles if you R&R, or space cookies if you prefer!
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

She screamed.

Clunk. Clunk.

She ran.

Clunk. Clunk.

She fell.

She had to get back up.

Clunk. Clunk.

She was running yet again.

Clunk. Clunk.

She couldn't keep it up much longer.

Clunk. Clunk.

Her heart was pounding,

Clunk. Clunk.

They wouldn't slow down.

Clunk. Clunk.

She reached a dead end.

Clunk. Clunk.

They were so close to her now.

Clunk. Clunk.

She tried to fight.

Clunk. Clunk.

Her defence was futile.

Clunk. Clunk.

A new gravestone grew in the future.

Run you clever boy, and remember.

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**A/N - Sorry this is quite short, I'm be updating as often as possible :) Thanks for reading, if you see any errors PLEASE PM or review so I can fix them for you:)**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Metal Soldiers

5,000 metal soldiers were standing as a silver wall, each the same as the next. Not one spoke, not one had dreams. They all faced the same direction. They all saw through the same 'eyes'. Apart from One. This One aspired to be more than just a drone. You may not be believing this, it may seem too ludicrous. This One was born to save The Doctor.

Data of the new mission was flooding the minds of these Cybermen; the second conquer of this planet was to take place. 'Cybermen will not fail' was drilled into these 5,000 brain circuits, forcing them to believe what The One knew was a lie. This One knew that there was one man who could stop them all, and this One was happy about it.

Yet again, you may not believe that this Cyberman can feel emotions, it seems impossible for a twisted machine like a cyberman. It never expressed this malfunction with its superiors, they would terminate It, and It knew, somehow, that this could not happen.

It scanned the data It had received of the planet they would conquer, and It came across a tiny blip that no other cyberman would pick up. It felt drawn to it, like it was a key point in Its service life, or even human life. It accessed data banks on this mysterious blip. Time Lord. It knew immediately. The Doctor. He cannot die.

It quickly moved to the endless labyrinth of corridors, searching for the main control console. It stalked through the corridors that a human would get lost in, and be stuck so long they would eventually starve. It had maps of every single ship belonging to the Cyber Empire embedded in its circuits, so had no trouble navigating this maze.

It raised its silver, slightly rusted mechanic hand to enter the code to the main control room. The door swished open, revealing two Cybermen. Holding guns. "Trespassing result in termination. Prepare for Termination,"

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**A/N - Thanks to anyone who's reading, I LOVE YOU ALL! I won't be able to update daily, what with revision and homework, but once or twice every weekend if possible :) Here are your space cookies o**


	3. Chapter 3 - The Edge of The Universe

**Thank you lovely readers! By the way, this is my first fic that isn't one-shot, so please excuse if it is rubbish :) Ooh and the main cyberman is 'It' (with the capital I), so if it's not a capital then it probably isn't It :) **

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"Refrain from termination. This unit is due for repairs. I have been sent for repair duty." Came the droning, emotionless voice of It, efficiently covering up Its plot. "Termination cancelled. Proceed with duties." Replied the guards in unison, turning their metallic bodies, marching away like broken soldiers. Its scanners picked up no more oncoming dangers, so as quietly as a hunk of metal could, It dragged Its heavy legs into the main control room.

Its eyes laid upon a vast, dull grey console with blinking lights scattered sporadically across it. To a human, this would be a mind bending riddle that was impossible to solve. It had been said that even the Daleks couldn't work this machine. In fact, there was only a few Cyberman who could – the Inner Efficiency Collective. You had to serve 15 years for the Cybermen, offer unlimited advantages and have a brainpower far above the average Cyberman. Coincidently, this very Cyberman was the Second Commander of the Inner Efficiency Collective.

Electrical circuits began forming new pathways to help work through the complex machinery, every second gifting It with new intelligence. Its thick, intricately wired hands began making their way through a labyrinthine set of wires and buttons, sparks flying off in all directions. It accessed the navigational controls, where the destination of the ship was locked to their new battleground. A spark flied in Its brain circuits. This spark came from the human pathways. It was a sort of hint, pulling It towards a certain destination. Co-ordinates suddenly appeared in Its circuits, forcing Its fingers to type them in. 432 00 78. The edge of the Universe. Not one other soul knew these co-ordinates, but they had suddenly snapped up to this cyberman.

There are supposed to be horrors beyond even The Doctor's imagination hiding at the edge of the Universe, surely they would be enough to destroy this ship. The destination was set. The Doom of the Cybermen was fixed. Each and every remaining Cyberman was on a ship to its death. It was beginning to enter a sequence of codes to cover the source of the new destination, when it yet again heard the swish of the doors.

"You have broken code 63124, destinations must not be changed by any Cyberman other that His Highness." Informed a Cyberman, restraining It with a death grip capable of crushing a human in a mere second. It was dragged through dismal corridors, impossibly angry at Itself for not completing such a simple task. "You will remain here until His Highness has made a decision." It droned as it stepped out the door, leaving an impossible Cyberman alone in a dark room with Its new found emotions.

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**Hope you enjoyed that!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Emotions

**Oooh aren't you lot lucky, 2 updates in one weekend :P Thank you to followers and favouriters, it really means a lot that you want to read more of this story :3**

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'I need to find out about this Doctor' thought It, staring at the dull, dark walls. It had tried and failed many times to access data banks, attempted many codes to hack into the mainframe, but to no avail. It was well and truly locked out. Locked out of the Cyberman army, locked out of data banks, locked out of Its life. It thought It knew all of the codes, every single one. Well, I guess sometimes even Cyber Leaders have to be paranoid.

It could feel melting in Its brain, each circuit being overwhelmed by human emotions that had fought their way into the Cyber technology. Painful electrical currents were being forced into Its brain, in a vain attempt to get rid of the human emotions. Pain. That was a new thing; Cybermen aren't meant to feel pain. It suddenly had a rush of images, invading Its mind. Cut knees, broken arms, heartache, people screaming and writhing on the floor. 'This must be my human life.' It managed to think as It clutched Its agonizing head. 'How do humans cope with all the loss?'

It knew, It was a human. It wasn't a Slitheen, or Sycorax, It was a human. Only humans had this many emotions. So much pain, and loss, yet more hope and happiness than any other being could imagine. 'The Doctor loves humans' It thought, not really knowing how It knew that. 'I must have met him in my life, he saves people. He must have tried to save me.' It solemnly thought, angry that The Doctor had nearly risked his life to safe It.

Every time It thought of The Doctor, It had a short rush of happiness, like It was an old friend of his. The Doctor was a powerful being, he had to be to stay in Its memory, just that one man being remembered, not years of childhood and happiness. It wished to meet this Doctor, to defend him in any way possible. The Doctor was a saviour. It suddenly knew all about who this Doctor was, and not from Data Banks and hacking. From human memories.

It was beginning to become so drastically human. It began to see things as a human would, in colour and shape, not blips on a radar screen. It marvelled at the beauty of sight, of being able to see the walls, not just detect them. It felt so incredibly...human. Until It looked down. It recoiled in horror at the sight of Its hands. Such ghastly, robotic, common hands. It had a sudden rush of hatred, hatred of being the same. Hatred of being machine, with no heart.

"I want to be human!" It spoke in a crackling, metallic voice. It was the first time It had heard Its voice properly, not as a signal programmed to emit different words. Its voice was one so utterly...un-human. 'Why?' It almost cried out, 'Why did I have to be converted?!' It screamed in Its head, desperately trying to get out of this hell. "I can't live like this any more!" It cried. Well, as much as a cyberman can cry. It was more of a metallic bubbling sound.

"You shall not live like this anymore. Await your termination." Came a harsh, cold voice of a Cyberman as the doors were un-bolted. "Your actions have decreased the speed of our warship. We will arrive a day later than planned. His Highness wishes to see you."

It felt a new emotion. It was petrified.

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**Thanks for reading :) It would really mean a lot if you just drop a review or PM, it doesn't have to be long, even just an emoticon would be amazing :)**


	5. Chapter 5 - Golden Doors

Stomping Its feet loudly like a herd of elephants, It made the long, fearful journey to His Highness's daunting office. If It was human, It would be vomiting Its head off y now, and that's certainly how It felt, desperately hoping that someone could come and save It. The path wound through a labyrinth of metal, twisting like a snake about to catch its prey. This path would take around 6 hours for a human to even run (if by any chance you could find a human to willingly run for 6 hours straight), however to It, it was no where near long enough.

Far too soon It was dwarfed by a vast, golden door, which would destroy any soul that tried to touch it. You see, this Golden Door was not just any Golden Door. It was an exact replica of the door used to seal the time lock, in which many souls were trapped in. The Cybermen admired the idea of such a creation, for even they could not build it, so the least they could do was make a pretty door that looked like it.

It almost sank to its knees, wanting to beg for survival. The walls circled It, intimidating and vast, daring It to go through the door and face Its doom. It held Its head up defiantly, not showing any fear – partly because that would be weak, and partly because It would just be terminated on the spot for having emotions. "Cyberman of question reporting Your Highness!" It said, being careful not to speak in a human way at all.

"Enter." Came a similar 'voice', that of the Emperor. The Golden Door engulfed It, transporting It to a room made of Titanium, stolen from Earth in 2371. It nearly gasped in awe at the sight before It; unknown artefacts scattered everywhere, most likely trophies from battles thousands of years ago. The walls glistened, almost as if they had been coated in glitter. All this beauty, and you would think this was describing a grand room hidden deep inside the TARDIS. Oh, It could only wish that were true. Instead, It was in the room where It would be told whether It was to die.

To be honest, It didn't really fear death, for what place does an emotional robot have on a ship of destroyers? It had never really been one for fighting, It was more the tactical side of a battle. Even then, It was reluctant. Children and mothers had died, and would die, because of the thoughtless actions of the Cybermen. It no longer wanted any part in the Cyber Empire.

"Cyberman of the Inner Efficiency Collective, you have broken laws of the Cyber Empire. I should terminate you right away. However, you have proven an asset to the Cybermen. You have almost unrivalled intelligence. You have aided in many battles throughout your service life. Give me one reason that will prevent termination." The Emperor ordered in a harsh, emotionless voice. "I have none." Replied It, almost emotionless except from a slight hint of anger trailing behind. "You intrigue me. Every cyber drone is programmed with 23 self preservation pathways, yet you display none. Why?" The Emperor inquired forcefully. "The Cyber Empire will fail." It answered, this time blocking out all emotions from Its voice.

"You have one day until termination. Return to your cell immediately."

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**Thanks once again to my lovely Followers, Favouriters and Reviewers, I love you all :3 In a friendly way. **


	6. Chapter 6 - Only minutes

So yet again It was left alone in the cramped, dismal cell. Alone. Alone is a word nobody likes to use, it feels soft on your tongue, but makes you shiver inside. Alone is a word that combines all the sorrow, fear and grief and mixes them up, creating something that can turn a good man cold. Cold. It could be an adjective, a noun, or a feeling. Cold is that feeling you get when you are alone for far too long, slowly turning you heart to ice. You can't love, or have compassion of any kind, you only have hate. Like a cyberman.

It was determined not to be cold, not to be alone. It had to stay strong, for the Doctor if nothing else. The Doctor gave It hope, hope to not be alone in death. It knew Its last thoughts would be of the Doctor, and It could wish for nothing more. It knew Its job was done, It had slowed the ship to a day late, meaning the Doctor would have time to prepare for the attack.

It spent the night sleeping for the first time, having Its first ever dreams. Strangely enough, the last and first night It would spend sleeping contained no nightmares. Each and every second was spent dreaming of the Doctor, wondering what he looked like, what he sounded like and who he travelled with. 'Was the Doctor alone?' It wondered, although It knew the Doctor wouldn't be alone. Such an almighty yet humble being would not travel the galaxies alone, for what is the use of seeing beautiful sights when you had nobody to show them to?

"Proceed to your termination chamber." Was the dull wake-up call for It, disintegrating Its beautiful dreams. It stepped out solemnly, knowing this would be Its last ever path. It seemed to go on stepping through these dismal corridors for hours, yet it was only minutes. Only minutes until It reached the doors. No Golden Doors awaited It this time, however, only a plain grey slab that could open. It was a pretty bad last sight to see to be honest, you could die facing vast explosions with pride in your heart, but no, It would die behind dull grey doors.

It took the Cyber equivalent of a deep breath and stepped in with honour, not looking back and not looking down. It would not die begging for mercy. It would not die for no reason. It would die for The Doctor.

It strode up to the platform and stood straight, unmoving. It fixed Its gaze upon the Cyber logo, wishing to melt it on the spot. It was a gaze full of hatred and anger. It was not a gaze of nervous fear. "The Cyber Empire will fail." It spoke, clearly and confidently and the countdown began for its termination.

"My death is for the Doctor. I will not die in vain, and I will not die killing. The Cyber Empire is one of hatred and cruelty. There will always be someone out there to stop it. Many shall fall fighting for justice, yet many will be saved from the terrible fate of becoming a Cyberman. The Doctor shows mercy and kindness, and that is what real strength is measured in. The Cyber Empire will fail." It said defiantly to His Highness and fellow members of the Inner Efficiency Collective. It thought of the Doctor, of how he would never now of Its death. It didn't care. The Doctor was all that mattered, so if he didn't know, he didn't know.

It thoughts drifted to Its human life. 'Who was I?'It thought as a jet of electricity surged through Its body. The pain was almost unbearable for those few seconds that It was dying, It had to force Its mouth to not make a sound so It didn't offer anyone the joy of seeing It scream. The pain was soon over, leaving a blackness. Floods of memories rushed through Its head, being bought her first Christmas present, riding her first bike, watching her mother die, who she was. It was worse that the physical pain. It could feel all the sorrow, happiness, grief and joy of 20 years, all in a matter of seconds.

Then there was nothing.


	7. Chapter 7 - Roses and Marble

**A/N : This is set after The Name Of The Doctor, so Clara knows about the echos.**

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ON THE TARDIS

"So then...where are we going today?" Questioned an excitable Clara Oswald, skipping around the TARDIS console room like a small child. No matter how many times she was in the TARDIS, being flown off to a new world, she always had a wonderful rush of adrenaline as the Doctor pranced around the controls. It was as if he just flicked controls to look like he was doing something, that is quite likely actually.

"I have no idea!" The Doctor replied, smirking his chin off. Clara gave him a bemused look, surely he would know. He just shrugged his shoulders and pulled the dematerialization lever. The TARDIS lurched violently and threw its inhabitants across the room. They gripped onto the railings with knuckles as white as milk, desperately trying not to fall again. "What on Earth is happening?!" shouted Clara over the noise of rubble tumbling through the room, knowing this was NOT supposed to happen. "Technically, we're not on Earth, and I really don't know! She's never been like this much before!" He bellowed back, trying (and failing) to reach the console.

Finally, after 10 minutes of being thrown about and having random objects from many different galaxies crashing into them, the lurching ceased. The Doctor clambered over to Clara, offering a hand to help her up. She took it gratefully, standing up slowly. "You OK?" The Doctor asked, leading her through all the rubble. "Yeah, just got knocked around a bit," Clara replied, putting on a fake smile. She didn't tell him about the burning headache that felt like it was tearing her head apart.

They stepped out the door slowly, deciding they would rather leave the TARDIS to tidy up. Clara followed the Doctor carefully, subconsciously bracing herself for weapons fire. "Oh. A graveyard. That's a bit...gloomy!" Clara moaned, disappointed that they didn't have to run for their lives. "Well, I'm sure if we explore it won't be too bad!" The Doctor smiled, knowing the TARDIS always took them to places for a reason.

They wondered through countless gravestones, with each step Clara's headache worsening. They were reaching a reasonably large, white marble gravestone with beautiful roses twisting all around it. They were nearly level with it, when Clara dropped to the floor, holding her head in her hands. "Clara? Clara, what's wrong?" The Doctor asked softly, crouching down beside her. Her headache was completely gone now, replaced with memories of termination, metal hands and not knowing who she was. "Doctor, look at the gravestone." She replied solemnly, having just looked herself.

The Doctor turned to look at the gravestone. 'Adara Loswin Oswald. Taken cruelly away from us by the evil wrath of the Cybermen. Born: 7th January 2351 Died: Cyber Attack of 2371'.

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**So I was thinking about writing about the Cyber Attack, just want to know if any of you (awesome) guys would read it? So yeah, that was the last chapter, so please PM or review to say if you'd like the Cyber Attack story :)**


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